should be writing…

It’s amazing what a bit of sunshine can do, isn’t it?

I have consistently failed to write anything much since my post in January when I expressed a need for divine inspiration over what to write next. At that point I felt I needed to focus more on the dreaded marketing, so I did my best to embrace it by way of a Blog Tour that happily turned out to be hugely encouraging. Since the tour ended though, a whole month has passed which mainly consisted of me vaguely feeling I ‘should be writing’ but not knowing what to write about. Meh.

I haven’t exactly written NOTHING: I have another blog where I write about the things that God and I chat about, and every now and then I still share something there… but for some reason blogging doesn’t feel like “proper writing”. Imposter syndrome still lurks…

Still though, there is a real pull to write another book, which is hard when inspiration is non-existent. And while trying to make myself ‘get inspired’, I’ve been invited to write an article or two as well. You’d think an article would be simpler, but I’ve been feeling aimless about that too. And when I realised that I hadn’t even written anything here since my Blog Tour, a horrible feeling of failure started to creep over me, covering my outlook with dark, ‘not writing’ clouds.

But yesterday I specifically prayed and asked God what He wanted me to write about. Surely I’d asked Him before… but maybe I was defaulting to trying to figure it out myself. ‘Shoulds’ can do that to you: simultaneously drive you and make you feel you are failing without knowing what you’re failing at.

Anyway, that morning after I prayed I happened to come across an article on something unrelated, where a tiny sentence planted a seed of a thought that grew faster than a fairy-tale beanstalk, until it became something that seems to have genuine, far-reaching potential. Watch this space. And THEN I suddenly felt I needed to have a quick look at something I started working on last November while I was waiting for my first book to be edited. As I read it I realised I already know what I need to write next… at least, I have the start point and a general direction. Lo and behold: within the space of a few hours, I suddenly became a writer again, with two works in progress!

It’s like the metaphorical clouds have lifted, giving me clarity. And this afternoon, as literal sunlight from the blue skies outside started to stream through my window, past the bright cheery daffodils in my peripheral vision, I felt an urge to write. Hurrah! So here I am – actually writing (or blogging at least). Not only that, but I have momentum now: once I’ve hit ‘publish’ here, I’m heading over to the magazine article waiting to be written. Oh happy day!


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